The Modern Churn

Over the summer I had some left over heavy cream just begging to be used. Wanting to go beyond the normal whipped cream, I decided to try something new- and so my homemade butter adventure began. After a few Google searches on the art of churning, I decided to go modern..... with my Kitchen Aid stand mixer.

I used local heavy cream that I picked up at my local green market. There is one ingredient in this- cream.  I know you're thinking- well, what else would it have in it? But flip over your commercial store brand and you will see cream, along with other additives. No bueno for me.

I'm guessing you can do this with a hand mixer, but it takes a good 20 minutes to get the cream to turn into butter, so it may not be worth your while. BUT if you do try it with a hand mixer- let me know how it goes!

I like to salt my butter right from the get go- so once I pour the container of cream into the mixer, I grind some sea salt in it before I start it up. I start with the whisk attachment to speed up the whipping, then switch to the flat mixer to finish it off. Turn the mixer to level 4 (you can go up to 6, but no higher!), set a timer for 12 minutes and walk away. Really, go do something.

It has taken on average 20 minutes of mixing for the mixture to 'break', so I like to start looking around 12 minutes. Also, it's about this time when the cream will move into the whipped butter category- and if you have a fresh loaf of bread around you will want to snag some. You can stop here- however in this state the butter will only stay fresh for 24-48 hours. This is great if you're having guests over and want to put fresh whipped butter on the table- but unless you're going to consume it all right away, you're going to want to keep mixing.

You had 12 minutes to play, but now it's time to work- stick close from here on out. Eventually the color will turn a bit more yellow (like... you guessed it- butter) and it will look wet and crumbly. Push it a little more and then stop. If you move the mixture away and see liquid on the bottom of the bowl, you have arrived. You have 'broken' the mixture into two things: butter and buttermilk.

Now it's time to get dirty- with clean hands! Reach in and grab a handful of the mixture while keeping it over the bowl. Gently squeeze (I like to press between both palms) and push out as much as the liquid as you can. Keep going until you have only a little of the butter left in the bowl. At this point I like to grab a small strainer to catch the remaining pieces. Pour the bowl mixture through the strainer held over a small bowl to catch the buttermilk. Don't throw this away!! You will now have a messy ball of butter feeling goo .... that doesn't quite look like butter.

You want to knead the butter in your hands, squeezing out the last of the liquid. Some people rinse the butter with water, but I skip this. Grab some wax paper and mold the butter into a log. Roll it up pushing out as much air as you can and twist the ends. Then throw in the fridge to harden. In the fridge it will last a few weeks, but you can also freeze it for a few months.

Salted butter is great- but want to take a walk on the wild side? Once you hit the whipped stage, toss in some freshly chopped herbs. I've made rosemary butter, thyme butter and sage butter so far. I freeze it in chunks and use it to roast chicken, saute veggies, on fresh bread and more!

I have to say, I was shocked at how easy this was- and how the butter tasted so different than store bought sticks. Plus you get a bonus with the fresh buttermilk- which can be used in homemade ranch dressing, pancakes and more!

As a parting gift, I thought I would share my work space during this project. I know some people only like to show the sparkly, clean photos- but everything is better with a mess.

Questions about the process? Did you try your hand at homemade butter? Leave it in the comments!

Shoveling In A Winter Wonderland

Another January day, another winter snow storm. I'm actually a fan of winter, but to be honest shoveling snow gets a bit old. I'm always looking for a way to make the job a bit easier, so when I came across a tip to spray oil cooking spray on your shovel before you start, I just had to try it. This is supposed to stop snow from sticking to the shovel, so you don't have to stop to keep banging it off.

Yesterday I bundled up (beyond the snow, the wind is really blowing!), grabbed a bottle of Pam and headed outside. I gave the shovel a really good spray and got to work. Overall, it was a good tip. This snow happened to be pretty light and fluffy- my guess is this trick works better with the heavy snow we had last weekend. It worked really well for the first quarter of the driveway, then the effects of the oil started to wear down. I'd use it again, but it certainly wasn't the time saving trick for this storm!

Do you have tips on how to make shoveling easier? A faster way to clean your car and windshield? Share in the comments!

Baby, it's cold outside!

With the 'Polar Vortex' leaving most of the country in sub-freezing temps, I thought I'd share how I waste less in the kitchen and make better food because of it.

I love to cook and I strive to live a 'green' life. I really work hard to think of ways to waste less and give back to the earth more. I've become an avid gardener, supporter of local farms and sustainable agriculture, as well as an outspoken (ask my boss) champion for consuming 'moral' food. I strongly believe that we have the power to take back our food and change the marketplace- one plate at a time.

During my kitchen escapades I find myself throwing away a lot of produce. Prep a bunch of carrots, celery, onions and garlic for soup- and throw away all the peels and ends. Clean up some leeks- and toss the green stalks. It's an endless routine of tossing perfectly good produce (and money) into the trash. One day a light bulb went off- all these 'scraps' are exactly what you use to make a good stock!

I now keep one (or two) gallon size ziptop plastic bags in my freezer. As I go through my daily routine of prepping veggies, I save all the 'scraps' and toss them into the bag, then back into the freezer. Once the bags get full , I put them in a big pot, cover with water, add seasoning and any other wilting veggies I might have and boil away. Bring the pot to a boil, then simmer for about an hour, or until the liquid has reduced by at least a third. Then strain the mixture through a sieve (I normally do this twice- first with a regular pasta strainer to catch all the big stuff, then again through a small sieve to filter out any small particles) and into a container. 

Collect your scraps in a bowl as you cook, then transfer to the freezer when you're done!

You can also make chicken or beef stock by saving the leftover bones from chicken or bone-in cuts of beef you made. Buying a whole chicken is usually much cheaper than other cuts, and you end up with an entire pot of homemade stock at the end, which you can then use for soup. It's another way to maximize the dollars you spend on groceries! When making meat based stocks you will want to refrigerate the stock for a few hours, then take it out of the refrigerator. It should be the consistency of halfway done jello and have a layer of fat that has hardened on the top. You can go ahead and pull off the top layer and toss it (I like to leave just a little on there for flavor, then move on to storage (or use).

You can either freeze the stock or use it to make a soup. I normally freeze mine in gallon size ziptop plastic bags. Fill 3/4 of the way and seal tight, pushing out as much air as you can in the process, then lay flat in the freezer. Once frozen you can stand them up or lay them flat- this really helps take up less room in your freezer! Once in a while I will freeze my stock in ice cube trays or muffin tins. Fill almost to the top, let freeze, then pop out and stick in a ziptop plastic bag (don't forget to date the bag with a permanent marker to keep track!). When you only need a small amount of stock, you don't have to defrost an entire bag.

Trust me, homemade stock is easy to make and has nothing on store bought cans! This is a great way to save money, make less trash and make good food!

Pot, meet kettle....

Well, Juan Pablo, I can officially say I am done watching you find 'love' on The Bachelor. I'm all for freedom of speech- it is an integral part of America, but Juan Pablo's comments are insensitive and intolerant. You don't have to think having a homosexual relationship is okay, but it doesn't mean that those who do are less than you. No one is saying you have to live it. To say they are perverts (because dating and making out with 27 girls at the same time isn't perverted) who wouldn't be a good example to have on TV (a ballsy statement for someone who had a child out of wedlock, is no longer with the mother, and is now dating a city of women on a television show) is just wrong. Juan Pablo YOU are part of what is wrong with television and you are NOT a good role model (even before the comments). Even worse is that in his 'apology' (ie damage control) he blamed it on a language barrier and didn't mean pervert. Um, 'pervert' in Spanish is 'pervertido', pretty much the exact same word....

I had the pleasure of removing The Bachelor from my TiVo season pass and can go back to enjoying television that I actually enjoy watching. I hope, for his daughters sake, that he is able to teach her tolerance, acceptance and that he is able to find love in someone who will also love her. Adios, Bachelor. Its been fake.

What do you think? Think the comments are blown out of proportion? Will you stop watching this season?

Don't drink and date...

It took me two days, but I finally finished the second episode of The Bachelor. The fact that I really am not enjoying this show, coupled with the fact that I am binge watching Sons of Anarchy (and there is a baby kidnapping that they need to resolve ASAP- save Abel!!!), made it really hard to get through these two hours. I'll be honest- I don't know if I will last the whole season. I will say that Juan Pablo seems like a really nice, real, genuine guy- which makes me wonder why he is on this show. The whole thing is so artificial and contrived... but I guess he does get to kiss a whole bunch of women.

First up was Clare, who was blindfolded and whisked away to a winter wonderland... in the middle of LA. I'll give it to JP (or the producers- Im not sure how much say Juan has in these 'dates')- if I opened my eyes and saw that, I'd be pretty smitten too. I would love to know how long these dates last (so they could get all the shots) and how much interference/guidance production gives. I'm not sure how anyone couldn't like him (or her, really, I did like her) after this date. There was a lot of talking, which a first date should be.

Fast forward to Kat who also got an alone date. They jetted off to Utah to participate in the Electric Run. First off- is this chick a runner? If a guy brought me to a 5k on a date I would laugh in his face- and I guess walk 95% of the way. The editing made it seem like they didn't talk at all during the flight. Beyond him giving her some skimpy clothes to put on, they exchanged nothing important, yet he had an amazing date watching her run and dance. Okay.

Then the most mind boggling of all- a group date. With 13 ladies. How is this a date? BUT this is my favorite part of the show- the date was a photo shoot to help dogs get adopted. Some crying when a few girls have to pose nude with signs covering their parts, but they work it out and then head to some rooftop pool/gym. area.

As some of the girls get one-on-one time with JP, the others unwind with some wine. While most can act like adults, Victoria reminds me why I don't drink- she over does it and goes bat-crap-crazy. She seems to lose it fairly quickly, going from one glass of champagne to slurring her words and having a total meltdown in the bathroom. I'll give it to JP, he was a gentleman and tried to talk to her while she was locked in the bathroom, but she couldn't handle it. Not for anything, but you go through this ENTIRE audition process, put your life on hold for several weeks, KNOW you will be on TV and you still get drunk and act a fool? I still don't get the allure of drinking, but this proves that it's not all laughing and good times (which I already knew). She ends up getting taken to a hotel and booted off before the rose ceremony. Clearly Vic isn't step-mother material and he just can't have that. Can't say I'm sorry to see her go.

Two girls go home- only two? How many episodes are there? I honestly don't get the two women who have young children at home. I don't know how you leave your child for 6 weeks so you can go on a dating reality show. Is it really that serious? It would take a LOT for me to leave my dog for six weeks, so I'm not sure what it would take for me to leave my child.

I just don't get the appeal of this show. I mean, it is set up for drama- a few dozen single girls fighting for a hot guy- but it is so fake. I guess there will be two 'winners' at the end of this journey, but I think we're the big losers in this equation.

Episode 1: I survived, but not everyone got a rose.

So I did it. I watched an episode of the Bachelor. 

My first reaction is: where are the average girls? Every single girl they showed was skinny and would be classified as the 'pretty' girl. Where are the normal looking contestants? You know, the ones who are larger than a size four, maybe wear glasses and don't walk around with the majority of their body hanging out on a daily basis. Why wouldn't an average girl be worthy of the muscley, handsome Juan Pablo? Are you telling me I'm not good enough, ABC? Clearly brains do not count during the casting process. It is sad that after 19 seasons they don't have even one regular girl in the cast (or bachelor for that matter- not all girls are looking for rock hard abs and perfectly white teeth).

I feel like there are only two options for girls that want to be on a dating show- you're either the 'pretty' girl, or you are on a plus size dating show. There is no middle ground- and that needs to change.

Secondly, I wondered how many of these girls would date a guy with a child if they weren't on a TV show? Honestly, how many 23 year old girls do you think would aggressively pursue and then date a 32 year old man with a 4 year old daughter? My guess is not many. And how in the world would this guy know after a few weeks in a very strange environment that a woman is ready to be a step mother to his beloved daughter? Can you really propose to someone you have only known a few weeks without even seeing how they fit into your family?

Anyway.... after a few clown-car limos produced 27 girls in sparkly dresses and 27 awkward introductions with Juan, we finally make it inside the house. The house where these girls will live together, watch each other all date the same man and try to stay sane.  It didn't take long for some girls to begin freaking out because they didn't get their one-on-one time with JP yet. One girl in particular can't stop crying- and shares why. Just a few short months ago her fiance called her and abruptly broke it off. Her bio piece shows her looking sadly at her wedding gown and engagement ring, then staring at the sky. She finally pulls herself together to chat with JP and once again shares all that- and you could see the fear in his eyes. I mean really, if just a few short months ago you were ready to walk down the aisle with someone, how could you possibly be ready to not only start a new relationship, but battle with 26 other ladies on TV. Yeah, she didn't get a rose.

My favorite part (the runner up moment was when JP called Kat to come get a rose and some other girl with a K name started walking up with a giant smile on her face- only to be told that he called Kat, not her. She got sent home. Awkward!) was with the Opera singer. As Opera and JP were having some alone time, you could sense the unease between them- they just didn't seem to click.  Juan looked pretty into it, even giving her his jacket to keep her warm. Before entering the house JP was given a 'First Impression' rose to give to the girl who..... made the best first impression. Surprisingly, JP excused himself for a minute and ran into the house to get the rose- at the same time that Opera was telling the camera that she was disappointed because she felt no chemistry with Juan and just didn't feel anything. Fast forward a minute to JP offering her the rose.... which for a minute I thought she was going to turn down! Any other girl would have jumped on top of him and then flaunted it to the others. Instead she paused, said 'uh, okay', took the rose and gave a weird half hug-almost cheek kiss. She then told the camera that she was shocked he gave her the rose because she felt nothing and hope that she will given some time. Poor JP.

Then the rose ceremony, which to my great relief, sent more than one girl home. I'm not sure exactly how many girls were sent packing, but enough for me to be thankful that I won't have to sit through 26 more episodes of this.

I'll give this to the producers- that reel they showed at the end of the show highlighting the season was pretty epic. How could you not watch the show after watching some girl have a total breakdown on the bathroom floor, finally yelling you 'I hope you DIE Juan Pablo!' Restraining order anyone? I will say that I'm curious to watch some of the Bachelorette to see how the guys behave on the first day.

So one episode down and it's pretty much what I expected: a show that reminds me why I don't have many girlfriends, what is wrong with society and why I want to raise my kids on a farm away from this insanity. 

Did you watch? What did you think? Does this compare to other first episodes of the Bachelor? Weigh in below!

Juan Pablo: The Bachelor

Ah, The Bachelor. A total phenomenon that consumes my Facebook wall and office water cooler conversations. People are obsessed with the drama- who got a rose, who didn't! Who the bachelor kissed and which chick is bat crap crazy. Every season I hear all about rose ceremonies, but have never actually watched one myself. This, however, has never stopped me from making endless fun of the show.

I finally decided that if I was going to continue to make fun of The Bachelor (and Bachelorette, to be fair) I should actually watch a season. No matter how terrible, scary or trashy it is, I have committed to watching every single episode of this season of The Bachelor (I can hear Dave and Annmarie cheering at this announcement!). Don't worry, Blogiends (my newly coined term for Blog friends), I won't leave you out of my journey through a field of roses- I will be blogging along the way! Feel free to add your own comments, thoughts and gripes about Juan Pablo and his house of potential wives after each episode!

Welcome to the Calamity Chronicles!

When I was a little girl my Uncle Vinny used to call me calamity. It had less to do with misery and major loss and more to do with my clumsiness and tendency to destroy things. I was infamous for breaking things (dishes, glasses- you name it, I broke it), dancing around and knocking over shelves of nick-knacks (my Aunt Mickey says I once knocked over an entire shelving unit of glass nick-knacks at my Nonna's house and they had to glue everything back together) and spilling anything without a lid (earning me a nickname of Spills in middle school). Although I had a tornado like presence, I could always be counted on for a laugh. I would dress up in crazy outfits courtesy of my Nonna's scrap fabric box, sing crazy made up songs or reenact scenes from I Love Lucy (Vitameatavegamin was the family favorite). 

Now that I'm older I still randomly burst into song, bust out you-tube fame worthy dance moves and love to make people laugh. I thought it would be fun to blog about my daily adventures, thoughts and dreams- so here I go. Thanks for reading and I hope you'll stick around!

xoxo,
Gossip Girl Stefanie